Hurricane Harvey could be your defining moment; the moment that changes your presidency from the chaotic mess of threats, bitterness and bilious paranoia to one of rationality and reasonableness.
You, sir, could be the President that saves the planet.
There is no denying that our weather is getting more severe, that the oceans are rising, the Arctic ice is melting and hurricanes are wreaking ever-more havoc each time one pummels another part of the country.
Harvey has officially brought the most destructive rainfall in our nation’s history — more than 51 inches in some areas of Houston. As many as 42,399 humans are in shelters. Sure they can rebuild, but we’ve seen the horror first hand before. Rebuilding takes decades and sometimes it never happens, despite the fancy talk.
Yet in the face of all this, you, Mr. President, have chosen to nominate a climate change-denying partisan politician, Republican Rep. Jim Bridenstine, to head NASA. How can you even think of such a man to head the most important nonpartisan science, space and aeronautical research and development agency in the country? No, make that the world.
As this planet heats up, we have to look to space. That won’t be done if the man heading NASA denies the science and looks down on the truth of what’s happening in our atmosphere. Scientists are in agreement that while climate change might not have caused Harvey, Katrina, Sandy, and other natural disasters, warmer air does hold more moisture and thus has a much greater capacity to make weather events much worse. Harvey, for example, is now being called an unprecedented natural disaster.
How then can you even think about nominating Bridenstine? Being a former Navy pilot doesn’t make him an astronaut anymore than having once served as director of Tulsa’s Air and Space Museum makes him an expert on space, no matter how many papers he’s written.
This is a guy who demanded that President Obama apologize for funding climate change research! He doesn’t believe in climatic research yet he wants to head the agency that sent humans to the moon and will one day send us to Mars due to advances in technological and atmospheric research?
This is a guy who has repeatedly said there is no credible evidence — in the face of credible evidence — that greenhouse gasses contribute to climate change and so opposes regulating emissions.
This is a guy that Florida senators on both sides of the aisle oppose.
Sen. Marco Rubio (of Florida, where NASA is located) even told Politico, “I just think it could be devastating for the space program.”
Mr. Trump, when you met with clergy the other day, you declared today a day of prayer for the victims of Harvey. And that’s good — we need more God and less greed.
But God won’t save this planet that we’re so busy wrecking without our help. Remember that thing about how God helps those who help themselves?
Help us to help ourselves by denying the climate change-denier his place in space.
FIREARM FURY AT WALMART
Attention Walmart Shoppers! Gunplay in aisle five!
Who doesn’t love back-to-school shopping? And nothing says “back to school” like your mom pulling a gun on two women in the school supplies aisle.
Hey, when you need a notebook, you need a notebook.
The standoff occurred at a Michigan Walmart on Monday when a 20-year-old female student grabbed for the last school notebook on the shelf just as two other women grabbed for it.
The desperation for old-school lined paper turned into a shoving match, which escalated into a full-on hair-pulling melee.
Who knew notebooks were this much of a hot-button item? We’re not talking about a PC notebook or a MacBook, we’re talking cardboard.
The brawl stopped just as quickly as it started when the mother of notebook girl pulled out her gun and threatened to shoot the other desperate school supply-seekers.
What next? A bloodbath over stickers and pencils?
Guns don’t kill people, pencils kill people.
BURNED BY RUSSIA
Don’t you hate it when all the documents get burned the day before the Feds search the joint? That’s what apparently happened on Friday when black smoke was seen billowing from the Russian consulate in San Francisco.
Where there’s smoke, there’s files.
U.S. investigators were set to search the shuttered consulate after the Ruskies were told to leave by the President. Unfortunately, when firefighters showed up, they were refused entry. An Associated Press reporter overheard someone say the remaining staffers were inside burning stuff in the fireplace.
Who doesn’t like a cozy fire when it’s 98 degrees outside?
Eat My Shorts: I’ll do anything to lose a couple pounds, but flesh-eating shorts? I don’t know. Mass & Slim Leggings claim that wearing them will help you lose an inch from your thighs in two months because the crystals in their meshy fabric raises skin temperature to “eat your skin.” Finally! A much-needed fashionable alternative to that pesky flesh-eating disease …
Going Not Postal: Special Counsel Robert Mueller is in possession of a letter drafted by President Trump and an aide that details why he was going to fire FBI Director James Comey. The letter — written days before Comey got the boot — allegedly outlines the President’s reasons for the upcoming curb kick. But it was never sent because White House Counsel Donald F. McGahn II found it problematic, according to the Times. Like anything involving the President could be a problem. How crazy is that? …
We Are The Champions. Not: L’Oreal Paris loves to champion diversity so much that they hired their first transgender model, Munroe Bergdorf. They fired her a few days later after she fired off an incendiary racially charged post. L’Oreal likes diversity — but not when diversity includes Facebook screeds about “the racial violence of white people.”
HOLES IN ADS SCARIER THAN HORROR
BuzzFeed reports that people are avoiding the new “American Horror Story: Cult” ads because of holes. No, I swear. Reporter Shannon Rosenberg says the ads are causing people with trypophobia, an intense fear of clusters or irregular patterns of small holes, to become debilitated. The ads feature a tongue with holes, a beehive as a hat (always a good look), and eyes filled with holes. Horrible instead of horror might make fans too debilitated to tune in.
Ivanka Trump, who was so fierce an advocate for women’s equality in the workplace that she wrote a book about it — “Women Who Work” — is now against it. Or against steps that would lead to it, anyway.
Last week, with Ivanka’s blessing, the Trump administration scrapped a provision put in place by President Obama that required employers to report pay by gender, race and ethnicity. After the provision was tossed, Ivanka issued a statement claiming, “Ultimately, while I believe the intention was good and agree that pay transparency is important, the proposed policy would not yield the intended results.”
The intended results were to make sure women, among others, weren’t being cheated.
Her next book? “Women Who Work For Less.”